Friday, December 12, 2008

Party on, Wayne!

Yesterday morning I get beeped to run up to Waynesville, North Carolina super quick because there is a plant there that makes packaging for frozen dinners that we haul over to the ConAgra plant in Council Bluffs, Iowa and I'm set for a load. Great!

Only catch is, I'm about 190 miles away on the far side of Atlanta, it is raining cats and dogs and I have to be there no later than 1300 local time or they won't load me until the following day. I get running as soon as possible and driving as fast as the laws will allow but traffic was terrible around Atlanta and the hills of North Carolina were slick and steep so I got there an hour late. No luck wheedling them for the services of a forklift for ten minutes and I had to park and wait. Again.

Now, I'm about to relay some fairly gross news so kids, listen up! Get your parents out of the room immediately and read on (then scroll down so they don't realize they've missed anything). Okay, ready?

MAN, I had to use the restroom this morning. I'm not talking about a typical wee-wee, I mean get-the-plunger-ready emergency type of thing. I waddled inside, wincing with each step, only to find that the restrooms were inside the locked gated area and me being on the outside. I waited to catch the eye of a forklift driver and finally got let inside where I gingerly made my way across this largish warehouse to the facilities.

Neither of the stalls were occupied so I quick got down to business, and let me tell you -- business was good! I have never in my life had such an encounter. I'm telling you, at the end there was Mount Feces in the bowl with its craggy peak poking up out of the water. I was a bit stunned (not to mention, light-headed from the exertion) and I fumbled for the flusher. Much to my relief, the trap on this particular model was fairly wide and eventually it went on its way.

(Now kids QUICK, scroll down a bit so your parents get lost in my usual blather!)

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La la la.
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Where was I. Oh, yes, at the warehouse. Well, it didn't take them much time at all to get me loaded and soon I was on my way. The 36,000 pounds of cargo felt like a lot more going up and down the steep grades along I-40 in North Carolina and Tennessee, but eventually I muddled my way through, turning north at Nashville and ending my day in central Illinois.


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I needed a shower pretty badly tonight. This happens when you spend nights waiting at shippers and consignees with no facilities. Remind me to take that up with my dispatcher next time we meet.